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| Friday, 25-Apr-2008 06:04 |
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dairy queen ice cream cake and pineapple papa john pizza
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| Wednesday, 16-Apr-2008 02:49 |
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"Because she is charming.."
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The truth revealed. I finally realized what he meant by that wallpaper. No wonder he said, even though he played guitar (he quitted!), even though he sings well, even though he cares a lot, even though he is good in chemical engineering, those are not enough to win a girl’s heart.
He likes somebody whom is my closed friend! Closed? Yeah “quite” close.
Hmm because she is charming eh? Is she? Different people define charming in a different way. Personally, this is my general little point of view:
1.I don’t like people who are showing off. Doesn’t matter showing off her beauty, her wealth, her brilliant ideas and imagination, her faith etc. To be humble is the best human to be.
2. A man who looks nasty, selekeh type, but surprisingly he has a million dollar in his bank account due to his HARD WORK and EFFORT. Sweet enough he put some thousands dollar for her mum, dad and siblings SECRETLY, while they are having a dispute asking money to do this and that. Well he knows what life would be without hard work and persistence to earn money.
3. A man who has thousands of friends, be it useful or useless, but he doesn’t leave his family and the love one behind.
4. A woman who has little friends but these little friends appreciate her the most in her life
5. A man who is sooo quite, quite doesn’t mean he is arrogant, but it shows his intelligence
6. A quite woman, whom doesn’t talk much to strangers, but to the one she really close she can talk everything about everything. doesn’t mean she could not adapt to a new surrounding, but to be respectful is her principle
7. A man and a woman, who doesn’t know where this life will lead to, but they “berpijak di atas bumi yang nyata”, and that means he or she accept the facts and the truth honestly in life. They don’t run away or keep waiting for some miracle to happen.
And the list might go on. Charming in the man’s eyes doesn’t really the same through a woman’s eyes.
Charming is a characteristic. Beauty is also a characteristic. It is something not eternal. So if you are falling in love with someone because of her beauty, charming, call it perfect, now think about this, what if one day she is burnt from head to toes, become ugly and disgusting, she could be a burden for you..will you love and accept her as she is? Poor to that woman for she knows the reason he likes her is because of her perfections. Well nothing is eternal except…
If you get the man of your dream, you’ll be happy. If you didn’t get the girl you like, you’ll become a philosopher. So, that's why I was surprised when you showed me that wallpaper.
“Cintaku yang mendalam kepadamu dahulu itu tidaklah lain dari sebuah hijab antara aku dan Sang Kekasih. Aku telah merobek tirai itu dan menyampakkannya. Kini setelah kutemukan Kekasih Sejatiku, tidak lagi aku membutuhkan cintamu.” –Zulaikha-
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| Monday, 7-Apr-2008 02:43 |
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The Snow on the Sea of Farewells
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Merry..Merry. Merry…!
Your name is Going Merry.
And..you are our nakama!
Arigatoo, Merry!
Farewells always have to come….she has no more tears.
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| Tuesday, 1-Apr-2008 02:02 |
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Surprisingly..?
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It was only 2 entries related..and she came out, finally..trying to correct things which are not true according to her and trying to dig “my search or what I want”. If I knew it, I shall post it earlier..ahah!
But, I consumed three blogs, in four sequences of years except for the first one.
No offence. At least I didn’t mention her name exactly in my page.
She got what she wanted, she said. Actually in the end, I wasn’t clear what it was. Whatever it is, I hope she is fine. I’ll be doing the same thing in my page if I’m in her shoes, but I don’t like to write a blog. May be I do it with the purpose to improve my English. But it is not practical for writing a thesis.
Is he fine? Supposed he should be the one who come out. He played hide and seek again. After getting what he wanted, he left. Does he really care? If he does, that’s a miracle on earth. I guess he is having a hot shower while singing air terjun tepi longkang. Heaven.
I think the entries just adding her so called ‘believe’, esp at the lastest statement. Hah!
Soon to come..biodiesel pilot plant and biodiesel pump station..hope government realizes it. Think straight think straight.
Maybe we should have a table for two? Didn’t you mention you wish to see me?
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| Monday, 31-Mar-2008 01:11 |
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If her blogs can speak
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Some say, tears are the weapon for women to turning down the ego and hard-hearted men. If so, why didn’t she cry in front of him and tell him everything inside her heart and beg him to come back and say that she cannot live without him. May be then he will notice the true love she has on him. And he returns back to her, they fall in love and live happily ever after. Oh-ho, it smells like a Korean drama or a fairy-tale movie (based on a good friend says).
True love doesn’t exist except in the movies. I strongly believe this based on my experience (I’m being too honest). Well, if tears couldn’t come out, using a blog might be a good approach to win back his heart. And I think she has been a good blogger, it has been three or four years since 2004, without hesitating still she keeps talking about the good deeds he has done on her (actually to many girls too including me – the innocent). Not just that, she keeps reminding herself about the past which was about 14 years back to the secondary school, at the time where I was having fun with my fellow buddies in a girl school, at the time when she was having a crush on him, (being a secret admirer is really tiring!)
Not until I knew from his mouth, proven by the first blog she ever dedicated to him, trying to clarify her feeling she has been kept for so long. I can still remember how the blogs look like. Titled by “A Melancholic Kingdom’, with a brown background, with a lyric “Accidentally in Love” at side, with some pictures of him inside, sad pictures picturing herself or what she feels, last but not least the first ever comment I jotted in the comment section. Because of me, the girl who interrupted into her personal life, the blog was then officially being closed.
I thought it was the finale, by mistake, second blog arised. “Sunforme”. Too bad I knew that she called him “sun” (so ‘hot’). This time, there isn’t a hope, but it was all about disappointment. It’s green and with advance, there is a dialog box and blog calculator. University of Minnesota was the famous visitor. Including Purdue (she might have been excited looking at this name). Not just that, there is a section in the archive where she dedicated that to a person whom she thinks has been stalking and intruding her personal kingdom. And she directed (kind of complaining) this to her sun, yet the blog was closed down.
My mind has been so tangled, but I entangled them one by one myself. I was in a state of confusing, or in not-in-equilibrium phase in the past. But now, things keep repeating. Life is really a wheel. Here comes the third blog. Personally, I could not take things as easier as he could. Because reading about their past, I felt like I was like a fool innocent. Try to be in my shoes. You’ve never been there before.
So, they are no words left to be said, as well as tears. What can he do, what could she do, still become questionable. Yet she will keep repeating what she has been doing. I supposed to accept this fate. Yet, I feel like I’m facing this alone. It’s like a rule, in order to love him, you have to sacrifice this. This relationship is not in reversed order anymore. I thought in love, there is negotiating.
When she said, he is lucky for being loved by two girls, I would want to say that I feel unlucky because with the all things (every single thing..) I have done to him, I could not back off. It has been a long way, the time and the distance. I fall in loved with someone who was and is sitting not by my side, does he really take care of me I don’t know what sort of ‘care’ he meant. Now I should have been able to tell myself that one day I will live by myself and take care of myself alone (..he will say go ahead girl and good bye). I have always want to be falling in love again, those feeling of admiring and appreciating. I believe a charming man is there to approach and take care of me, but what can I offer back then. I could not back off.
Now if only her blogs can speak, why didn’t he come back to her. And I’m sorry girl, for your dream couldn’t come true, I wasn’t there to replace you to be by his side, I wasn’t there to love him because of you. Big mistake. To be thankful to me, I would rather stand up and offer the sit back to you.
The reason you could not love her is just because you already have me. The reason you love me is just because I knew all about you. Answered.
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| Friday, 28-Mar-2008 00:59 |
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Pointing at aeroplanes?? - *!%^&&@#$@424
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| Wednesday, 26-Mar-2008 06:47 |
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The 1st shop of Coffee Prince
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My strong fanatics towards korean drama would never be ending. And here is the new series actually on air on television right now. Recommend you the 1st shop of Coffee Prince! The story is quite slow at the beginning but at the end it is superlovely, because their love is nothing but so sweeeeeeeeettt. Still, the conflicts about homosexuality is the main idea of the story, interesting.
Gong Chan, Kogi, Han Kyul...do these type of men really exist in this world?
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| Wednesday, 19-Mar-2008 08:03 |
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IWK Bayan Baru, Penang
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Date: 11 March 2008
Venue: Indah Water Konsortium Bayan Baru
Having the opportunity to visit this treatment plant is like a dream come true. 
But definitely this visit reminds me about the visit to water treatment plant in St. Paul Minneapolis. Too bad I lost those pictures in Minnie coz of my broken hardisk. But this time the different is that I am not going as a student, and I am not the one who has to prepare a report about the visit, but I was the one who accompanied my students to this treatment plant, and I will be the one who give them the marks for their report 
Located at the industries areas doesn't mean this plant treats industrial waste. Perhaps, the sewage is coming from the residential area of Bayan Baru with population of 200 000 peoples. With 24 hours operations, you can imagine how IWK has contributed a lot to the people. Without IWK, I would say people won't live hygienically as what we are today.
The starting path is not that bad. And I'm grateful with who I am.
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| Monday, 11-Feb-2008 13:31 |
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in D
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believe in living in the moment,going with the flow..dont expect anything.
never make actual plans becoz plans tend to go wrong...so?
just take life as it comes............
it's bitter but in the end it's the sweetness of life
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| Tuesday, 5-Feb-2008 09:24 |
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September 9
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Seorang bijak berkata kepadaku, “Anakku, mari kita bicara tentang cinta. Cinta apa yang kau miliki?” Merasa diri ini memang belum paham apa makna cinta yang sebenarnya, maka aku dengarkan baik-baik setiap wisdom yang menyemburat seperti cahaya.
Anakku, kamu harus membuka hatimu lebar-lebar agar bisa menangkap esensi cinta yang akan aku sampaikan. Simpan pertanyaanmu nanti, karena setiap pertanyaan itu terlahir dari akal. Seperti langit, akal melayang tinggi di atas bumi tempatmu berpijak. Dan kau pun akan jauh dari hati pijakanmu, satu-satunya titik yang mampu menangkap esensi cinta.
Lihat batang bunga mawar itu. Dia punya potensi untuk mempersembahkan bunga merah dan harum yang semerbak. Namun jika batang itu tak pernah ditanam, tak akan pernah mawar itu menghiasi kebunmu. Maka, hanya dengan membuka diri untuk tumbuhnya akar dan daun lah, batang mawar itu akan melahirkan bunga mawar yang harum. Demikian juga dengan hatimu, anakku. Kau harus membukanya, agar potensi cinta yang terkandung di dalamnya bisa merekah, lalu menyinari dunia sekitarmu dengan kedamaian.
Anakku, begitu sering kau bicara cinta. Cinta kepada istri, cinta kepada anak, cinta kepada agama, cinta kepada bangsa, cinta kepada filosofi, cinta kepada rumah, cinta kepada kebenaran, cinta kepada Tuhan… Apakah isi atau esensi dari cintamu itu? Kau bilang itu cinta suci, cinta sejati, cinta yang keluar dari lubuk hati yang paling dalam, cinta sepenuh hati, cinta pertama, … Apakah benar begitu, anakku?
Mungkin di kampung kau punya seekor kuda. Begitu sayangnya kau pada kuda itu. Setiap hari kau beri makan, minum, kau rawat bulunya, kau bersihkan, kau ajak jalan-jalan. Seolah kuda itu telah menjadi bagian dari hidupmu, seperti saudaramu. Kau mencintai kuda itu sepenuh hati. Namun, suatu ketika datang orang yang ingin membelinya dengan harga yang fantastis. Hatimu goyah, dan kau pun menjualnya. Cintamu tidak sepenuh hati, karena kau rela menjual cinta. Kau mencintai kuda, karena kegagahannya membuatmu bangga dan selalu senang ketika menungganginya. Namun, ketika datang harta yang lebih memberikan kesenangan, kau berpaling. Kau cinta karena kau mengharapkan sesuatu dari yang kau cintai. Kau cinta kudamu, karena mengharapkan kegagahan. Cintamu berpaling kepada harta, karena kau mengharapkan kekayaan. Ketika keadaan berubah, berubah pula cintamu.
Kau sudah punya istri. Begitu besar cintamu kepadanya. Bahkan kau bilang, dia adalah pasangan sayapmu. Tak mampu kau terbang jika pasangan sayapmu sakit. Cintamu cinta sejati, sehidup semati. Namun, ketika kekasihmu sedang tak enak hati yang keseratus kali, kau enggan menghiburnya, kau biarkan dia dengan nestapanya karena sudah biasa. Ketika dia sakit yang ke lima puluh kali, perhatianmu pun berkurang, tidak seperti ketika pertama kali kau bersamanya. Ketika dia berbuat salah yang ke sepuluh kali, kau pun menjadi mudah marah dan kesal. Tidak seperti pertama kali kau melihatnya, kau begitu pemaaf. Dan kelak ketika dia sudah keriput kulitnya, akan kau cari pengganti dengan alasan dia tak mampu mendukung perjuanganmu lagi? Kalau begitu, maka cintamu cinta berpengharapan. Kau mencintainya, karena dia memberi kebahagiaan kepadamu. Kau mencintainya, karena dia mampu mendukungmu. Ketika semua berubah, berubah pula cintamu.
Kau punya sahabat. Begitu sayangnya kau kepadanya. Sejak kecil kau bermain bersamanya, dan hingga dewasa kau dan dia masih saling membantu, melebihi saudara. Kau pun menyatakan bahwa dia sahabat sejatimu. Begitu besar sayangmu kepadanya, tak bisa digantikan oleh harta. Namun suatu ketika dia mengambil jalan hidup yang berbeda dengan keyakinanmu. Setengah mati kau berusaha menahannya. Namun dia terus melangkah, karena dia yakin itulah jalannya. Akhirnya, bekal keyakinan dan imanmu menyatakan bahwa dia bukan sahabatmu, bukan saudaramu lagi. Dan perjalanan kalian sampai di situ. Kau mencintainya, karena dia mencintaimu, sejalan denganmu. Kau mendukungnya, mendoakannya, membelanya, mengunjunginya, karena dia seiman denganmu. Namun ketika dia berubah keyakinan, hilang sudah cintamu. Cintamu telah berubah.
Kau memegang teguh agamamu. Begitu besar cintamu kepada jalanmu. Kau beri makan fakir miskin, kau tolong anak yatim, tak pernah kau tinggalkan ibadahmu, dengan harapan kelak kau bisa bertemu Tuhanmu. Namun, suatu ketika orang lain menghina nabimu, dan kau pun marah dan membakar tanpa ampun. Apakah kau lupa bahwa jalanmu mengajak untuk mengutamakan cinta dan maaf? Dan jangankan orang lain yang menghina agamamu, saudaramu yang berbeda pemahaman saja engkau kafirkan, engkau jauhi, dan engkau halalkan darahnya. Bukankah Tuhanmu saja tetap cinta kepada makhlukNya yang seperti ini, meskipun mereka bersujud atau menghinaNya? Kau cinta kepada agamamu, tapi kau persepsikan cinta yang diajarkan oleh Tuhanmu dengan caramu sendiri.
Anakku, selama kau begitu kuat terikat kepada sesuatu dan memfokuskan cintamu pada sesuatu itu, selama itu pula kau tidak akan menemukan True Love. Cintamu adalah Selfish Love, cinta yang mengharapkan, cinta karena menguntungkanmu. Cinta yang akan luntur ketika sesuatu yang kau cintai itu berubah. Dengan cinta seperti ini kau ibaratnya sedang mengaspal jalan. Kau tebarkan pasir di atas sebuah jalan untuk meninggikannya. Lalu kau keraskan dan kau lapisi atasnya dengan aspal. Pada awalnya tampak bagus, kuat, dan nyaman dilewati. Setiap hari kendaraan lewat di atasnya. Dan musim pun berubah, ketika hujan turun dengan derasnya, dan truk-truk besar melintasinya. Lapisannya mengelupas, dan lama-lama tampak lah lobang di atas jalan itu. Cinta yang bukan True Love, adalah cinta yang seperti ini, yang akan berubah ketika sesuatu yang kau cintai itu berubah. Kau harus memahami hal ini, anakku.
Sekarang lihatlah, bagaimana Tuhanmu memberikan cintaNya. Dia mencintai setiap yang hidup, dengan cinta (rahman) yang sama, tidak membeda-bedakan. Manusia yang menyembahNya dan manusia yang menghinaNya, semua diberiNya kehidupan. KekuasaanNya ada di setiap yang hidup. Dia tidak meninggalkan makhlukNya, hanya karena si makhluk tidak lagi percaya kepadanya. Jika Dia hanya mencintai mereka yang menyembahNya saja, maka Dia namanya pilih kasih, Dia memberi cinta yang berharap, mencintai karena disembah. Dia tidak begitu, dia tetap mencintai setiap ciptaanNya. Itulah True Love. Cinta yang tak pernah berubah, walau yang dicintai berubah. Itulah cinta kepunyaan Tuhan. Anakku, kau harus menyematkan cinta sejati ini dalam dirimu. Tanam bibitnya, pupuk agar subur, dan tebarkan bunga dan buahnya ke alam di sekitarmu.
Dan kau perlu tahu, anakku. Selama kau memfokuskan cintamu pada yang kau cintai, maka selama itu pula kau tak akan pernah bisa memiliki cinta sejati, True Love. Cinta sejati hanya kau rasakan, ketika kau melihat Dia dalam titik pusat setiap yang kau cintai. Ketika kau mencintai istrimu, bukan kecantikan dan kebaikan istrimu itu yang kau lihat, tapi yang kau lihat “Oh my God! Ini ciptaanMu, sungguh cantiknya. Ini kebaikanMu yang kau sematkan dalam dirinya.” Ketika kau lihat saudaramu entah yang sejalan maupun yang berseberangan, kau lihat pancaran CahayaNya dalam diri mereka, yang tersembunyi dalam misteri jiwanya. Kau harus bisa melihat Dia, dalam setiap yang kau cintai, setiap yang kau lihat. Ketika kau melihat makanan, kau bilang “Ya Allah, ini makanan dariMu. Sungguh luar biasa!” Ketika kau melihat seekor kucing yang buruk rupa, kau melihat kehidupanNya yang mewujud dalam diri kucing itu. Ketika kau mengikuti sebuah ajaran, kau lihat Dia yang berada dibalik ajaran itu, bukan ajaran itu yang berubah jadi berhalamu. Ketika kau melihat keyakinan lain, kau lihat Dia yang menciptakan keyakinan itu, dengan segala rahasia dan maksud yang kau belum mengerti.
Ketika kau bisa melihat Dia, kemanapun wajahmu memandang, saat itulah kau akan memancarkan cinta sejati kepada alam semesta. Cintamu tidak terikat dan terfokus pada yang kau pegang. Cintamu tak tertipu oleh baju filosofi, agama, istri, dan harta benda yang kau cintai. Cintamu langsung melihat titik pusat dari segala filosofi, agama, istri, dan harta benda, dimana Dia berada di titik pusat itu. Cintamu langsung melihat Dia.
Dan hanya Dia yang bisa memandang Dia. Kau harus memahami ini, anakku. Maka, dalam dirimu hanya ada Dia, hanya ada pancaran cahayaNya. Dirimu harus seperti bunga mawar yang merekah. Karena hanya saat mawar merekah lah akan tampak kehindahan di dalamnya, dan tersebar bau wangi ke sekitarnya. Mawar yang tertutup, yang masih kuncup, ibarat cahaya yang masih tertutup oleh lapisan-lapisan jiwa. Apalagi mawar yang masih berupa batang, semakin jauh dari terpancarnya cahaya. Bukalah hatimu, mekarkan mawarmu.
Anakku, hanya jiwa yang telah berserah diri saja lah yang akan memancarkan cahayaNya. Sedangkan jiwa yang masih terlalu erat memegang segala yang dicintainya, akan menutup cahaya itu dengan berhala filosofi, agama, istri, dan harta benda. Lihat kembali, anakku, akan pengakuanmu bahwa kau telah berserah diri. Lihat baik-baik, teliti dengan seksama, apakah pengakuan itu hanya pengakuan sepihak darimu? Apakah Dia membernarkan pengakuanmu? Ketika kau bilang “Allahu Akbar,” apakah kau benar-benar sudah bisa melihat keakbaran Dia dalam setiap yang kau lihat? Jika kau masih erat mencintai berhala-berhalamu, maka sesungguhnya jalanmu menuju keberserahdirian masih panjang. Jalanmu menuju keber-Islam-an masih di depan. Kau masih harus membuka kebun bunga mawar yang terkunci rapat dalam hatimu. Dan hanya Dia-lah yang memegang kunci kebun itu. Mintalah kepadaNya untuk membukanya. Lalu, masuklah ke dalam taman mawarmu. Bersihkan rumput-rumput liar di sana, gemburkan tanah, sirami batang mawar, halau jauh-jauh ulat yang memakan daunnya. Kemudian, bersabarlah, bersyukurlah, dan bertawakkallah. InsyaAllah, suatu saat, jika kau melakukan ini semua, mawar itu akan berbunga, lalu merekah menyebarkan bau harum ke penjuru istana.
Semoga Allah membimbingmu, anakku.
by. M.R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen
Aku gembira, kau gembira..aku duka, kau lari~
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sorry yaar...nak wish ko smlm tp super duper busy lately....but i still remember ur birthday is on 25th of April 
